


Not Your 80's Romcom MeetCute

by Sheepnamedpig



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Romance, canonically bizarre behavior, weirdos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:25:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2615030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheepnamedpig/pseuds/Sheepnamedpig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek take to being in love the way they take to most other things: obsessively.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your 80's Romcom MeetCute

Scott and Kira trek over to Stiles’ on Saturday for their weekly HALO date. The first thing Scott says when Stiles opens the door for them is,

"Derek’s on your roof, bro."

Stiles’ eyes glance upward. “Is he? Cool. Oooh, snacks, awesome.”

Scott and Kira share a glance.

"Um, why is Derek on your roof?" Scott asks.

Stiles shrugs, shoving a handful of Takis into his mouth as he turns on the TV.

"He likes to listen to my heartbeat," he mumbles through a crumbly mouthful.

Scott turns to Kira to mouth _weird_ at her, but her eyes are sparkling.

"Aww, that’s so cute!" she coos.

"I know, right?" Stiles says, and they high five.

&&&

"Hey son," the Sheriff says, rapping on the frame of Stiles’ open door. "Food’s up. Tell Derek to come down off the roof and wash up for dinner."

"Sure thing, pops," Stiles says, gnawing on a pen as he tacks a real estate ad to a rather cluttered looking corkboard.

"New case?" the Sheriff asks.

"Nah. Fifteen-year plan getting Derek’s ring on my finger," Stiles answers. "Well, we actually get married about five years into the plan, after I get out of college, but I figured better safe than sorry. I made a list of baby names, too. Want me to add anything to it?"

Several potential responses dart to the tip of the Sheriff’s tongue. Eventually, he says, “I’ll think about it,” and resolutely decides forget he ever saw anything.

&&&

Lydia’s banshee hearing means she can hear half the kids in the cafeteria whispering to each other about the hot stubbled dude lurking in the parking lot like a total creeper.

"Your boyfriend’s hanging around like a total creeper again," she says to Stiles. "Call him off before he gets arrested. Again."

Stiles rolls his eyes. “It’s not creepy, okay. It’s cute as hell.”

"No, dude, it’s pretty creepy," Scott says.

"Oh come on, you guys," Kira says. "It’s adorable that he comes to visit Stiles during the school day. It really shows how much he cares."

Stiles and Kira high five. Lydia watches Scott facepalm and thinks it was probably inevitable that he’d end up dating the female version of his best friend.

&&&

"Mr. Stilinski, how can I help you?" Deaton says.

Stiles slaps a notebook down onto the metal examination table and whips out a pencil. “I need everything you’ve got on werewolf sex,” he says.

"I think I’ve got an appointment," Deaton says hastily.

"You’re free all day. I had Scott check your schedule to make sure you weren’t busy."

Deaton feels the cruel bite of betrayal in his chest and wonders if this is how Derek felt when he found out that Kate used him to slaughter his family. “Perhaps I’m not the one you should be asking. I’m sure-“

"Look," Stiles interrupts. "You’re the Emissary, right? That means you’re supposed to give advice. And right now, I need advice."

"You can’t ask Scott?" Deaton tries.

"A) Scott’s never done the do with a dude before," Stiles ticks off on a finger. "Second, Scott wasn’t born a werewolf, so I can’t totally trust any qualitative data he gives me. Third, the internet is decidedly unhelpful when it comes to researching werewolf sex for non-masturbatory reasons."

Deaton firmly reminds himself that crying like a little girl is bad for his reputation.

&&&

"Hey, Hale," Deputy Parrish says as a handcuffed Derek is marched past his desk to the Sheriff’s office by another deputy. "Lurking outside the high school again?"

Parrish sees him shrug as he waits for the deputy to knock on the Sheriff’s office door. “Just waiting for school to get out,” he replies over his shoulder.

Parrish looks at his watch. It reads 1:42 p.m.

Well, at least the guy had the decency to show up after lunch this time.

&&&

"Freaks," Laura says, staring down from Heaven. Erica nods, Boyd rolls his eyes, and Talia drags a hand down her face with a heavy sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> FYI Takis are a brand of chips. Google it. 
> 
> Also Kira is the female version of Stiles and anyone who disagrees is pretty much wrong.


End file.
